Sexuality and Relationships

Welcome! I'm currently a student studying psychology and one day wish to have my own practice as a Sex and Relationship Therapist. Sex and relationships are extremely fascinating topics to talk about, though quite overlooked in many aspects. In this blog I will discuss a variety of information on sexuality, relationships, and psychology. Anything from book suggestions, sexual health, homosexuality, etc. The list goes on and on. That's why it's so fascinating! I hope you enjoy my blog, as well as benefit from the information provided. Joyous safe sex, and happy, healthy relationships!
Warning: I believe sex should be talked about openly, and will not be censoring myself in any way. Feel free to email me at sexrelationship.blog@gmail.com for questions, comments, or to chat about S&R!

That’s right, sista! You tell them! Baby feminist, I love her.


Dad: Why do you think they do that?
Girl: Because the companies who make these try to trick the girls into buying the pink stuff instead of stuff boys want to buy. [x]

(via crooners)

Anonymous asked: I am female and single. I consider myself straight, but I do like to have sex with girls. Every now and then I just have a one night stand. Am I in denial about my orientation? Or are there other straight women like me?

I’m really sorry it took me so long to get to this. Something is wrong with my inbox, I must figure that out. I don’t think you are in denial about your orientation. You are free to refer to your sexuality however you want. It does seem that you might be bisexual in the sense that you are sexually attracted to women and sometimes sexually active with them, but it’s up to you on what you wish to identify as. There are plenty of women like you out there. I think too many people get too caught up with having to put a label on their sexuality. Do whatever feels right!

Miss Representation

Everyone needs to watch this powerful and inspiring documentary about women and their misrepresentation in the media which in turn leads to tremendous amounts of inequality for women. There are some really amazing speakers like Gloria Steinem, Katie Couric, Nancy Pelosi, and many more. I highly recommend it!

“They are all about shrinking the size of government, because they want to be able to stuff government in your vagina.” - Dan Savage, commenting on the GOP and their stance on sexuality Ladies (and gentlemen who believe in what’s right), it’s time! It’s time to stand up for yourself and to stand up for what’s right. It’s time to tell the government to stay the hell away from our bodies, particularly our sex organs. The government is supposed to help run the country, not tell us what we can and cannot do with our genitalia. Something must be done. As women, we can no longer ignore and turn a blind eye to the atrocities that are occurring as I type this. There is a new war that has begun, a war against women, their bodies, and their right to choose. We must fight back. We must come at them harder. We must demand that they stay out of our sex lives, our genitals, and our bodies.We must make our voices heard and we must not stop until we get what we want - freedom to do what we want with our own bodies. The government has no right to try and take away our access to contraceptives or punish us for using them. Nor requiring a woman to see an ultrasound of the fetus that she wishes to abort. Nor requiring a woman to have a trans-vaginal ultrasound before an abortion. The government has no right making a woman come into a clinic for a consultation and then making her wait 72 hours before performing the actual procedure. In my opinion, these insensitive and inconsiderate individuals who have no justification for devising these bills or voting them into reality know exactly what they are doing. Though it would be near impossible (at least I hope) to make abortion illegal, they are manipulating the system to psychologically fuck with a woman’s mind. I have talked about Dan Savage before, a wonderful man with a blog and podcast about sexuality. In one of his latest episodes (number 282, you can find it at www.thestranger.com/savage) he urges women to start a revolution against these GOP assholes. He urges women that a protest should be in order consisting of women of all sexual orientations. He believes that since all these perverted, pathetic men are so obsessed with trying to peer inside and control our vagina’s, that we should give them what they want, our vagina’s. And I quote “if there was a protest, where you just pack the galleries with angry women who all at once on some secret signal just threw into the air photographs of their own vagina, and they papered the hall with them… and project huge images of vag… you could grind government to a halt, you really could, it would send them fleeing in terror, if you just give them what they seem to want, which is a look, give them a look until they can’t look anymore.” I love this idea and I am committed to doing something about these issues. Maybe not throwing pictures of vagina’s into the air, but something needs to be done. I will be working on a movement with a few friends of mine. I hope many of you will stand with me and pass along the idea of this long overdue protest. We won’t stop until we get these jerks to butt out and shut up.

“They are all about shrinking the size of government, because they want to be able to stuff government in your vagina.” - Dan Savage, commenting on the GOP and their stance on sexuality

Ladies (and gentlemen who believe in what’s right), it’s time! It’s time to stand up for yourself and to stand up for what’s right. It’s time to tell the government to stay the hell away from our bodies, particularly our sex organs. The government is supposed to help run the country, not tell us what we can and cannot do with our genitalia. Something must be done. As women, we can no longer ignore and turn a blind eye to the atrocities that are occurring as I type this. There is a new war that has begun, a war against women, their bodies, and their right to choose. We must fight back. We must come at them harder. We must demand that they stay out of our sex lives, our genitals, and our bodies.We must make our voices heard and we must not stop until we get what we want - freedom to do what we want with our own bodies. The government has no right to try and take away our access to contraceptives or punish us for using them. Nor requiring a woman to see an ultrasound of the fetus that she wishes to abort. Nor requiring a woman to have a trans-vaginal ultrasound before an abortion. The government has no right making a woman come into a clinic for a consultation and then making her wait 72 hours before performing the actual procedure. In my opinion, these insensitive and inconsiderate individuals who have no justification for devising these bills or voting them into reality know exactly what they are doing. Though it would be near impossible (at least I hope) to make abortion illegal, they are manipulating the system to psychologically fuck with a woman’s mind. I have talked about Dan Savage before, a wonderful man with a blog and podcast about sexuality. In one of his latest episodes (number 282, you can find it at www.thestranger.com/savage) he urges women to start a revolution against these GOP assholes. He urges women that a protest should be in order consisting of women of all sexual orientations. He believes that since all these perverted, pathetic men are so obsessed with trying to peer inside and control our vagina’s, that we should give them what they want, our vagina’s. And I quote “if there was a protest, where you just pack the galleries with angry women who all at once on some secret signal just threw into the air photographs of their own vagina, and they papered the hall with them… and project huge images of vag… you could grind government to a halt, you really could, it would send them fleeing in terror, if you just give them what they seem to want, which is a look, give them a look until they can’t look anymore.” I love this idea and I am committed to doing something about these issues. Maybe not throwing pictures of vagina’s into the air, but something needs to be done. I will be working on a movement with a few friends of mine. I hope many of you will stand with me and pass along the idea of this long overdue protest. We won’t stop until we get these jerks to butt out and shut up.

Anonymous asked: i haven't had my first kiss yet, and i'm almost 16. People are starting to talk at school and are saying shit about me, and give me weird looks when going down the hallway how do you suggest i handle this? i really want to have it happen...

There is no proper age to have your first kiss. It should be completely up to you when you think this is appropriate for you and who you want to share this experience with. I know it can be hard when others are potentially talking about you or giving you weird looks, but you should try your best to ignore these kinds of people, or stick up for yourself. Tell them you are waiting for the right moment and whether you have had your first kiss or not should have no influence on how they treat you. A first kiss can be a big moment in anyone’s life and you shouldn’t feel pressured. However, if you really want to have your first kiss happen because you genuinely want this, not because you think you should because of what others are saying, then you should go for it! Find a boy or a girl that you are interested in and maybe ask him/her to go see a movie, or maybe take a walk in the park. Then, if you are getting good vibes when you are on the date and still really want to make your move, go for it! I’m not sure of your gender, but I know sometimes girls feel like they can’t or shouldn’t make the first move. Really though, there’s nothing wrong with this and sometimes it takes the pressure off of the other person to make all the moves. Good luck!

We all have the ability to be accepting and tolerant, this little guy proves it!

This is beyond criminal.

In the UK illegal abortions are being performed based on the sex of the fetus. Most were aborted based on the fact that they are girls. Even though this has been and still is a huge problem in India and China it looks like this horrible “gendercide” is making its way to the Western world. Don’t get me wrong, I am 100% pro-choice, but aborting a fetus based on gender is absolutely terrible. The more technology improves, the more I wonder what other things people will abort for.

Anonymous asked: Would you be willing to share some of the things you've tried? Or maybe just a funny story about an experience?

Another great question. Though it might be fun to hear about my sexual adventures, I’d rather not do that. I’m trying to be a little professional over here! :p

However, you can always email me at sexrelationship.blog@gmail.com with specific questions or comments and I may be willing to discuss my personal experiences or funny stories. :)

blackbirdsandcaviar asked: how often do you check your email that you have listed?

Good question! I check it quite often, probably almost every day. It just takes me some time to write back because I am often busy with school. I also really like to give myself a day or two to think about how I am going to answer the questions I receive :)

alphatheta asked: What the heck with that anon! Damn. There are a million arguments I could make but none of them seem adequate. I think your blog is great and you and I have a lot in common, I'm a psych major too. Anyway, hi, and the-sexpert is behind you all the way.

Oh my god, that stupid person! I feel sorry for them and their lack of knowledge. Thank you so much! I love your blogs too. I just went on this one you are writing from and saw a picture of Blanche from the Golden Girls! My favorite show and favorite character <3

Anonymous asked: You're an idiot. American kids are the most educated children in the ENTIRE WORLD. The last few decades, American kids have been taught incredible amounts of sex, reproduction AND STD's/contraception. Everyone knows the information. Everyone still chooses wrong. You're a FOOL if you think the problem is education. The problem lies within people with no morals. You sleep around, you'll pay for it. You wait to have sex until you're married and there is no issue. But we know you can't wait.

There are a million things fluttering around my head that I could say back to this. So many studies and facts that could prove you so wrong and make you feel so incredibly stupid and ignorant, but really, all I can do is laugh and feel sorry for you.

Anonymous asked: Are threesomes worth it?

Hmm… I have to say, I don’t really know how to answer this. I think it depends on so many factors. But if that’s what you desire and can find two other people who are willing, then sure, why not? I think it would totally be worth it and hopefully enjoyable! Good luck!

Sex Education

I don’t understand why people are so afraid of children being taught about sex. We are sexual creatures even while in the womb. As long as we educate children appropriately and honestly about sex, most will make educated choices when they are older. Most schools in America teach teens about sexuality that is based on fear. Fear that you will get pregnant, fear that you will get an STI. I went to a public school in southern California, supposedly one of the more liberal states. The sex education I received was abstinence-only based. Nothing was taught about the clitoris, or how to have an orgasm. Nothing was really even taught about birth control. We didn’t learn how to use a condom. Nothing. The only thing that was taught was wait to have sex till marriage because if you don’t you will either become pregnant or get a disease. I feel so sorry for teens who are still receiving this kind of education. Children and teens deserve the education they so desire. They deserve to know about ALL of their body parts and functions. I do believe it is mainly the parent’s job to be teaching these things, but sex education in school should be taught in a way that covers all aspects of sexuality. The good and the bad. The heterosexual and the homosexual and everything in between. Most people do not wait till marriage to engage in sexual activity. Since almost everyone knows this, why not teach kids what they need and deserve to know, so they can enjoy and protect themselves. I currently live in the Netherlands and I was so pleasantly shocked with how open the Dutch are about sexuality with the young people here. It’s a completely different world in terms of sexuality. The teen birth rate is eight times lower here than in America and the abortion rate is two times lower. Clearly the Dutch are doing something right, and what they are doing is simply educating children at a young age and being honest with them about the dangers and the amazing things that come with being a sexual person. I hope America and other countries catch on soon!